Shower Thoughts

There's this game, where everyone names something they'd present to the aliens as the thing that best represents humanity. 

One day, I want to write a piece that the government would elect to show the aliens when they come for intergalactic domination. 

I want my name in a history textbooks -- preferably Brinkley, so Mr. Bato will be forced to teach his kids about me in a hundred years. Wait, Mr. Bato won't be teaching in a hundred years. Unless I'm in this aforementioned history textbook because I pulled a Nicholas Flamel and found the Sorcerer's Stone?

What if my name becomes a verb? Like Sappho, so commonly used that most people forget Sapphic is an eponym. No, you know what I really want? I want to be loveable enough that Zeus turns me into a famous rock upon my death. And couples propose and kiss in front of my rock-ified form for centuries to come, until erosion wears me away and I drift, in pieces, out to sea.

That'd be a nice way to go.

Nah, forget that. I won't even be alive to bask in my eternal glory. I want to be the picture teenage girls make their wallpaper, that Target prints on the spine of their planners. 

Oh my gosh what if I inspired a whole line of planners? I think my eyes are turning to hearts right now... why aren't there mirrors in here?

Is that a spider? Help, there's a spider in my shower! What if I die before I get the chance to do any of this? What do the environmentalists say -- 2050 is our Doomsday? I'd only be 45! Can people discover the Sorcerer's Stone before 45? How do I contact Nicholas Flamel and ask?

Honestly, if I'm only going to live to be 45, I have two very clear life goals: 1. to confidently pronounce Agamemnon casually in conversation, and 2. to truly understand the difference between business casual and smart professional. 

Which reminds me, I should add The Iliad to my Goodreads to-read shelf. Why is it so much easier to get excited about a book than it is to actually read one? I wish I could read a book a day, like Jack Edwards. He reads so much. Am I dumb? All I read is contemporary literary fiction and YA romance. I thought London was a country for the first decade of my life! I spend too much time on the internet. I need to turn off my notifications and check my phone once a day. What if my generation is stupid and we enter another Dark Age? 

I DON'T WANT TO BE ILLITERATE. 

What if this is The Truman Show and I'm the product of the system? Is that why my life is so boring? Is that why my neighbor takes the same walk around the block everyday -- is he an extra on this movie set? What are my parents hiding?

Nah, my father thinks about plants for a solid twelve hours a day; he's not hiding anything. What about the government, though? They're definitely hiding something. 

It's kind of strange how we're all know-it-alls that know nothing at all. 

Anyway, time to re-enter society again. This was nice -- same time next week?